Financial Sucess
40million Dollars opening weekend is good money
Pop Music
The movie is one long music video, if you like the songs your ears won't suffer
Crowd Pleaser
The audience of primary Woman over thirty clapped at my screening, good for them
Rotten Tomatoes 9% Cinemascore: B+
No surprises here ladies and gentleman, Fifty Shades Darker is just as bland, poorly written and frustratingly superficial as you would assume walking in. Whatever this film thinks it earns by passing itself off as a dark romance is waved like a false flag, blending up to six "Vanilla" sex scenes with horrendous dialogue and some of the most shallow storytelling I have seen in a long time. Seriously, I have seen PG-13 movies with more bite that this impudent mess.
Ok so time for me to discuss the plot, because there has got to be a plot right? Take what I say with a grain of salt, the plot of Fifty Shades Darker follows the continuing romance between Anastasia Steele and Billionaire Christian Grey. Christian has turned over a new leaf and wants Anastasia back in his life, but Anastasia isn't certain that he has changed after their last relationship took a dark turn. Nevertheless she takes him back, and the rest of the film follows the two as they fall deeper in love.
Now there is some good in the premise of Fifty Shades Darker, the relationship between the two is clearly an abusive relationship (mentally people mentally); now thats generally interesting and relatively rare in the modern hollywood landscape. However drama in Fifty Shades Darker is ploy, its a showcase, a soap opera to keep your attention in between sex scenes and reward the viewer with a false since of satisfaction when the climax comes around. The movie is a continuous sequence of three events: Ana has her doubts whether her relationship with Christian is for the best, Christian does something to validate her concerns, then they have passionate sex resolving all doubts that were sewed. I'm not joking, this cycle repeats six time throughout the film, multiple conflicts are dropped without resolution and the movie continues like it tied everything up in a bow. This isn't linear story telling, this is a narrative told in a series of mounds, like that of a camels back, going up and down and all around but resulting back at square one.
Look, I could go on and on and on and on about Fifty Shades Darker. I can sin the dialogue for being bland in most scenes and cringe worthy in others, I can condemn the acting or the cinematography or the soundtrack which are all struggle to meet mediocrity, but whats the point. The more I hate it the more it shows I care. The plain simple truth as divulged above is that Fifty Shades Darker just is barely a movie. There is no plot here, no proper character development no conscious series of events that would suggest the archetype of such a story, things happen and then they are resolved for no reason. Some movies tempt its audience with the promise of scandal or malice, Fifty Shades Darker seduces audiences into peaking behind the curtain only to pull the rug out from under them when it turns out there is nothing there.
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